BLONDES
        Q:      What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
        A:      Gifted!
        Q:      What do you call it when a blonde dies its hair
                 brunette?
        A:      Artificial intelligence.
        Q:      Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
        A:      You can park in the handicap zone.
        Q:      Why is a blonde like a turtle?
        A:      They both get f*cked up when they're on their back.
        Q:      How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
        A:      Shine a flashlight in their ear.
        Q:      Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
        A:      It takes too long to retrain them.
        Q:      Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
        A:      (With a rocking of the head from side to side)
                I dunno!
        Q:      How do you kill a blonde?
        A:      Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
        Q:      Why don't blondes eat Jello?
        A:      They can't figure out how to get two cups of water
                into those little packages.
        Q:      Why do blondes wear hoop earings?
        A:      They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
        Q:      Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
        A:      Because red means stop.
        Q:      Why do blondes wear red lipstick?
        A:      Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."
        Q:      Why do blondes wear underwear?
        A:      They make good ankle warmers.
        Q:      What's the mating call of the blonde?
        A:      "I'm *sooo* drunk!"
        Q:      What's the mating call of the brunette?
        A:      "All the blondes have gone home!"
        Q:      What's the mating call of the redhead?
        A:      "Next!"
        Q:      Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
        A:      Toes go in first.
        Q:      Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
        A:      Tits (teats for all the purists) go in first.
        Q:      What does a blonde put behind her ears to make
                her more attractive?
        A:      Her ankles.
        Q:      What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
        A:      "Have another beer."
        Q:      What do you call a brunette with a blonde on
                either side?
        A:      An interpreter.
        Q:      What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
        A1:     Introduces themself.
        A2:     Walks home.
        Q:      What's the first thing a blonde does after sex?
        A:      Opens the car door.
        Q:      What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
        A:      "Thanks for the refill!"
        Q:      Why do blondes have more fun?
        A:      Because they don't know any better.
        Q:      How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
        A1:     "What's a lightbulb?"
        A2:     One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves
                around her.
        A3:     Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"
        Q:      What's a blonde's favorite wine?
        A:      "Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!"
        Q:      What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head?
        A:      All you can eat, under a buck.
        Q:      How can you tell if a blonde's been using
                the computer?
        A:      There's white-out on the screen.
        Q:      What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
        A:      You only have to punch information into a computer once.
        Q:      What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
        A:      You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.
        Q:      How does a blonde part their hair?
        A:      (Action of scissoring legs apart)
        Q:      What does a bleached blonde and a 747 have in common?
        A:      They both have a black box.
        Q:      Why do blondes like tilt steering?
        A:      More head room.
        Q:      Why don't blondes eat pickles?
        A:      Because they can't get their head in the jar.
        Q:      Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
        A:      Because you wash vegetables there!
        Q.:     What does a blonde say if you blow in his/her ear?
        A.:     "Thanks for the refill!"
        Q:      What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair?
        A:      Artificial Intelligence.
        Q:      What does a dumb blonde say when she gives birth?
        A:      Gee, Are you sure it's mine?
        Q:      What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
        A:      A wind tunnel.
        Q:      Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a
                smart blonde are walking down the street when they
                spot a $10 bill.  Who picks it up?
        A:      The dumb blonde.
                why?
                There is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth
                fairy, or a smart blonde.
        Q:      Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
        A:      To see what was on the other side.
        A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park.  The
brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie".
        The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
        A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving
        the wrong way on a one-way street.
        Cop:  Do you know where you were going?
        Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all
        the people were leaving.

Question: How can you tell when a blond designs your landscape?
Answer: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
How does a blonde like her eggs? Unfertilized. Why should you never take a blonde out for coffee? It's too hard to re-train them. Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month? Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds." What do you call 10 Blondes in a freezer? Frosted Flakes. ______________________________________________ What do you call the space between a Blonde's ears? Wind tunnel. __________________________________________________

Jokes