Why was the seeing-eye dog charged with contempt of court?
 
He was leading the witness!
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Q: What's the best thing about Alzheimers Disease?
A: You make new friends every day!
A: You can hide your own easter eggs.
   
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   How many Ole Miss fans does it take to go to a movie............... 
   
18, They saw a sign that said 17 and under not admitted.
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A cashew goes into a bar, and orders a drink.
Bartender:  "Sorry, we dont serve Dryroasted Cashews here."
Cashew:     "Dryroasted?  I'm afried nut!"