"Mommy, Mommy, what's a vampire?"
"Shut up, kid, and drink your soup before it clots!"
 
"Mommy, Mommy, what's a werewolf?"
"Shut up, kid, and go comb your face"

son: Mommy, mommy, what's a werewolf ?
mom: Shut up and comb your face.
 
son: Mommy, mommy - are you sure this is how to learn to swim ?
mom: Shut up and get back in the sack !
 

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Mummy, Mummy, Sally won't come skipping with me.
Don't be cruel dear, you know it makes her stumps bleed.
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Mummy, Mummy, what's for dinner?
Shut up and get back in the oven.
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Son: Mommy, mommy, why do other kids tell me I have a big head ?
Mom: Don't worry. Take your cap and go get me 40 lbs of potatoes at the store.
 
Son: Mommy, mommy, why do other kids tell me I have a long nose ?
Mom: You don't, but lift your head up or you'll scrape the floor.
 
(from french folklore)

Jokes