"Hey!  Who took the cork off my lunch??!"
           W. C. Fields
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Higgeldy Piggeldy,
Hamlet of Elsinore
Ruffled the critics by
Dropping this bomb:
"Phooey on Freud and his
Psychoanalysis——
Oedipus, Shmoedipus,
I just loved Mom."
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Hindsight is an exact science.
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Hippogriff, n.:
     An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin.
The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half eagle.
The hippogriff was actually, therefore, only one quarter eagle, which
is two dollars and fifty cents in gold.  The study of zoology is full
of surprises.
           Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
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Hire the morally handicapped.
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"His mind is like a steel trap  full of mice"
           Foghorn Leghorn
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History repeats itself.  That's one thing wrong with history.
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Hlade's Law:
     If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person  they
     will find an easier way to do it.
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Hoare's Law of Large Problems:
     Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get
     out.
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Hollywood is where if you don't have happiness you send out for it.
           Rex Reed
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"Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense"
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Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.
           F. M. Hubbard
Jokes