A man is working away on his home improvements one day and
accidentally cuts off his ear. Now, we have a quick thinking chap here
so he puts it in a bucket of ice and dashes off to the hospital. He is
rushed through casualty straight to the micro-surgeon who congratulates
him on his quick thinking about the ice.
However after closer inspection the surgeon discovers that the
nerve endings are dead and explains this to the man:
`I'm sorry' he says, `but I can't sew this back on, it's no good'.
`Oh God !' replies the unfortunate patient, `I can't go around with
only one ear. I can't live the rest of my life not able to hear properly'.
`Well there is one solution' replies the surgeon, `there's an abbatoir
next door, we could sew on a fresh pig's ear. Of course cosmetically
this would not be correct but functionally it would be Ok'.
The patient is very relieved about this and runs round to the
slaughterhouse and gets there just as a pig is about to be killed.
`If I give you a tenner can I have the ear?' he asks the knacker.
`Ok' he replies, slightly bemused as this is, after all, not a usual
request, cuts off the ear and hands it to our one eared hero who takes
it back to the hospital.
`Good' says the surgeon, `we can use this, all the nerve
endings are still alive' and rushes the man into the operating theater
to stich on the pig's ear. After the operation is complete and the
patient has come round the surgeon goes to see him.
`The operation is a success' he says, `you can go home tomorrow but
come back in two weeks time for a check-up'.
The following day the patient returns home, and as arranged
returns two weeks later.
`Ah hello' says the surgeon, `how's the ear?'
`Oh it's great' he replies, `I don't care at all that it doesn't look
the same as the other'.
`Good' replies the surgeon, `and how is your hearing?'
`In my original ear it's perfect' he replies `and in the new one
there's just a bit of crackling!'
