Q    What were the last words Marvin Gaye's father said to his son?


A    "Hey son, I've got this 45 I want you to listen to..."


Marvin's last song:

I heard it through the Carbine....
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My family was so big...........

How big was it?


It was so big if my mother wasn't in the kitchen I knew she was having a 
baby.
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betcha didn't know..............

that you're loaded if your breath starts the windmill in an old Dutch 
painting.

that a harp is just a piano in the nude.

it would be a pleasant world if everyone was as pleasant as the guy trying 
to sell you a new car.

a good source of natural gas would be a direct pipeline to all Mexican 
restaurants.

happiness is a wife seeing a double chin on her husband's old girfriend.

T-shirts used to be underwear, but today they're more like bumper stickers 
for humans.

everybody is a damn fool at least five minutes a day, but some folks 
exceed the limit.

that coffee is getting so expensive that even people on welfare can't 
afford it.

that a cow is a creature with four hangerdowners, four standeruppers, two 
hookers, and a swisher.

Jimmy Hoffa is really just waiting for a bus.

You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard boiled egg.
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Fairy Tales For Unborn Children
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hansel and Gretel

 The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe

"I'm sorry, you can't live there," said the housing inspector as he
slapped an eviction order on the condemned property, forcing the
unemployed chicken stuffer and her 13 illegitimate children out onto
the street.

Old King Cole

Old King Cole was a merry old soul, and a merry old soul was he. He
called for his pipe, and he called for his bowl, and he called for his
Sony Walkman. From beyond the castle walls could be heard the faint
protestations of three unemployed fiddlers, who had been picketing
the palace since their enforced redundancy.

The Grasshopper and the Ant

All through the long, hot summer, the Ant toiled away building up his
stores for the winter ahead: he worked busily and fervently, for he
knew that his labours would be rewarded in the cold season to come.
The Grasshopper, on the other hand, idled away his time lying on his
back rubbing his legs together and drinking Diet Coke. "Look at you,
Ant," he'd say, "working yourself into a frenzy when you could be
basking in the sunshine." The Ant said nothing, for he knew that his
work would not be in vain.
 Summer changed into Autumn, and Autumn into Winter: the nights drew
in, and a bitter cold spread through the land. And what of our two
heroes? The Ant was number 272 on a National Health waiting list for
a hernia operation, while the Grasshopper made 40 quid a week on an
MSC scheme.