The new baby is like royalty, he's the prince of wails.
He heard she was stuck up and asked how much they got.
Ill-bred children are always displaying their pest manners.
He had never seen the Catskill Mountains, but had seen them kill mice.
When the father found he had quintuplets, he could hardly believe his own
census.
He thought he should have been a song writer, with his squeaky shoe,
he had music in his sole.
The pants were very sad, they were depressed.
Her body was recovered, she bought a new suit of clothes.
If a women changed her sex, what would her religion bed? She would be a
he-then.
How do you get to heaven? Turn to the right, and keep straight ahead.
The soda jerk thought he was a doctor, he was clearly a fizzician.
He was going to start a bakery if he could raise the dough.
The clock maker works over time every day and never gets extra pay.
The manicurist makes money hand over fist.
The doughnut retailer is really in the holesale business.
A barber is a clip-joint operator.
Most everyone like pleasant-faced people, but the auctioneer is always
pleased to see a man who is for bidding.
He was kicked out of the army, he took a furlong, went too fur, and
stayed too long.
In filling out a job application, he put as his school, Vietnam, Clash of
1973.
They weighed anchor, and it hadn't gained an ounce.
The judge increased his fine by $10. He thought that was extra fine.
Because of one paragraph the bank took off of his property, it was clause
and effects.
The robber wanted to go upstairs, he wanted to be tried in a higher
court.
When asked if he had missed school latly, the boy said `Not a bit.`
The form ruler Russia and his wife were called Tsar and Tsarina, so
clearly their children were called Tsardines.
Students may like nitrates, they're cheaper than day rates.
Wethir, the worst spell of weather we've ad around here in years.
New with a K in front is a Canoe.
He thought the formula for water was H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O, H-to-O.
He had a lot of trouble in geometry, he thought the thing opposite the
right angle in a right-angled triangle was a hippopotamus.
A sign for a superintendent of schools was "Bored of Education"
His father made suitcases in Iraq, he was a bag-dad.
He thought a fjord was a Norwegian automobile.
He built a bed ten feet by twenty feet, it was a lot of bunk.
He knew a lot about railroads, but it had taken a lot of training.
Little rivers which run into the Nile, Juveniles.
Did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the road when one of
them was assaulted?
Jokes