__________________________________________________________ Quoted in 1986 Wall St. Journal "I'm proud to say that my kids have proved time and again that they're reliable and trustworthy. Not once have they ever jumped bail."

_________________________________________________________- >From the Warrenton (Va.) Fauquier Democrat:
"But acting Commonwealth's Attorney Francis Greene said the charge against Gilbert Marcus Smith, 23, of Ponderosa Trailer Park, will be sent to a grand jury. Smith allegedly drove a 1973 Ford on Route 643."
New Yorker's comment: "Off with his head!"

________________________________________________________________ A Boy Scout troop went on a hike. Crossing over a stream, one of the boys dropped his wallet into the water. Suddenly a carp jumped, grabbed the wallet and tossed it to another carp. Then that carp passed it to another carp, and all over the river carp appeared and passed the wallet back and forth.
"Well boys" said the Scout leader, "you've just seen a rare case of carp-to-carp walleting."

____________________________________________________________________________ Notre Dame started having strange sounds. Police were called to find what was causing these sounds. All they could report was sometimes seeing a small brown object disappearing around corners and down holes. Weeks went by, when finally a small boy opened a door into a room to see a bag crossing the room.
This was the lunch bag of Notre Dame.

________________________________________________________________________ Before a farmer's wife left for a trip, she told her husband to fix the barn. He knew repairs would take weeks, but he had an idea. The farmer called Mr. Solly and asked to borrow his herd. Mr. Solly said fine, but reminded the farmer that the cows became upset in strange places. Sure enough, as soon as the cows were in the different barn they went berserk, kicking everything to smithereens. All the farmer could do was call the insurance company. When the farmer's wife returned, she was amazed. There was a new barn in place of the old one. "How did you manage it?" she asked. "Easy," answered the farmer. "All I had to do was wreck the stall with cows of Solly."