"Look at me Ma; on top of the world, Well chimney anyway", said Tom superfluously.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm ?
A pit-bull...
A young priest was having difficulty keeping his audience
awake. He asked an elder colleague for some help.
"Well," said the other priest "I like to shock'em awake.
Once I told them 'Last night I held another ma's wife in my arms.'
When the furor died down I added, "It was my own dear mother."
Much impressed the younger, more boring, priest resolved to
give it a try.
During his sermon�at about the three hour point�he heard
snoring.
"Last night" he cried "I held another man's wife in my arms."
There was a gasp, and a hush of disapproval fell on the cong-
regation. The priest was flustered.
"She was" he stammered "she was ... Oh dear I forget who she was."