"You get 25 years in the slammer for that" said Tom with conviction.
_______________________________________________________________________
This guy goes into a pub with a giraffe, and sits down at the bar with it.  He
then calls over the barman and orders a pint of beer for himself and a whiskey
short for the giraffe.  On receipt of the drinks, he demolishes the beer, and
waits while the giraffe struggles its way through the whiskey.  Then he orders
another beer for himself and another whiskey short for the giraffe.  Again, he
knocks back his pint apparently without any effort, and sits by, passing the
time, as the giraffe chokes and gurgles its way through its whiskey.  Then, he
orders yet another beer for himself and another whiskey for the giraffe.  Once
more, the beer disappears down the guy's throat with all the effortless
splendour of a Guiness drinker, and the giraffe, getting a bit
squiffy at this point, eventually finishes its whiskey.  After which, the guy
stands up and makes as if to walk out the bar.  The giraffe does likewise, but
slides off its bar stool and hits the floor in a melancholy puff of beer and
piss soaked sawdust, but apparently unnoticed by the guy.  At which the barman
calls out to the guy leaving, and says:
"Hey, you can't leave that lying there!"
To which the guy replies:
"It's not a lion - it's a giraffe."
__________________________________________________________________________
...and a brake shop in Smyrna, GA:
 
                        CAN'T STOP?
                     THAT'S THE BRAKES.
___________________________________________________________________________


Management's biggest problem is all the unemployed people on the payroll.
----------------------------------------------------
Being asked solicitously about the state of her health was
becoming bothersome to the pregnant woman at the cocktail party.
And yet another guest went over and inquired, "Well, how are you
feeling these days?"
     "Not too well," said the expectant mother.  "You know, I've
missed seven or eight periods now and it's beginning to worry me."
----------------------------------------------------