These two porcupines are taking a bath.  One says to the other:
        "Pass the soap."
      The other replies:
        "What do I look like, a typewriter?"
 
Or a couple of jokes that have made the rounds lately:
 
      Q. What's the difference between a duck?
      A. One leg is both the same.
 
Q. How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
      A. Fish.

Q:  Who is the oldest living Kamikaze pilot?
 
A:  Chicken Teriyaki.
__________________________

A bather whose clothing was strewd
By breezes which left her quite nude,
     When a man came along
     And unless I'm quite wrong,
You expected this line to be lewd.
______

A man walked into a bar, already drunk as could be, and walked right to
the bartender and said, "Bartender, I want you to pour everyone in the
house a drink, and pour yourself one, and give me the tab." Slurred
speech not included for easier reading The bartender poured the drinks,
poured himself one, downed it, and handed the drunk man his bill.
"Thirty-two dollars." The drunk man replied, "Guess what. I don't have a
single penny." Needless to say, he was slapped across the face by the
bartender a few times before being kicked out of the bar.
      The next day, the same drunk walked into the same bar and made the same
offer. "Bartender, pour everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself
one, and I'll take the tab." The bartender, thinking that the man
intended to pay his debt from the previous night, complied. He poured
everyone a drink, poured himself one, knocked it back, and said to the
drunk, "That's sixty-four dollars you owe me now." The drunk replied,
"I'm still flat broke." The bartender swore and cursed, hit the man a
few times across the face, and kicked him out on his keyster.
      The drunk returned the next day, walked up to the bar, and said,
"Bartender, pour everyone in the house a drink, and I'll take the tab."
The bartender asked, "Wait a second. Usually you say to pour myself one
also. What's going on here?" The drunk replied, "Oh, no, not this time.
You get violent when you drink."
__________
There was a young man from Peru
Whose limericks stopped on line two.
_______
There is a convicted prisoner who is placed before a firing squad.
The commander says, "I have heard that you declined having a last meal."
 
"That's right."  Says the prisoner.
 
"And you don't even want a last smoke,  or a blindfold?"
 
"No, let's just get it over with."
 
"Is there no last request we can grant you before we shoot you?" Asks the
commander.
 
"Well..."  Stammers the prisoner.  "I am a great lover of music, and it would
mean a great deal to me if I am allowed to sing my favorite song, in it's
entirety, before I am shot."
 
"Since this wish of yours is your last request, I will grant it.  You may
sing."
Replies the commander.
 
So the prisoner starts...
 
"Ten million bottles of beer on the wall,
 Ten million bottles of beer... "
___________
Four men are playing golf and they all tee off on a par 3. The first three
men's shots all land on the green, while the 4th's shot hooks deep into the
rough and this man tells the other three to go ahead to the green without him.
While on the green, the three men begin talking about how proud they are of
their sons. The first man says "My son owns a successful car dealership and to
show you how rich he is, he gave a car to a friend without asking for any
payment. The second man says "My son owns a successful boat dealership and to
show you how rich he is, he gave a boat to a friend without asking for any
payment. The third man says "My son owns a successful real estate office and
to show you how rich he is, he gave a house to a friend without asking for any
payment. Finally, the 4th man makes it to the green and asks the other men
what they were discussing and they say how proud they are of their sons. To
this the man replies "I am not very proud of my son because he is a
homosexual". The other three men all say how sorry they are and the man says
"It's not really that bad, because he has very generous boyfriends, one gave
him a free car, another gave him a free boat and yet another gave him a free
house."