Three stupid guys just died and are at the pearly gates of heaven.
St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer
one simple question.
 
St. Peter asks the first man, "WHAT IS EASTER?"
 
The man replies, "Oh, that's easy, it's the holiday in November when everyone
gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful..."
 
"WRONG," replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second man the same
question, "WHAT IS EASTER?"
 
The second man replies, "No, Easter is the holiday in December when we put up
a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus."
 
St. Peter looks at the second man, shakes his head in disgust, looks at the
third man and asks, "WHAT IS EASTER?"
 
The third man smiles and looks St. Pete in the eye.
 
"I know what Easter is. Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with
the Jewish celebration of Passover.  Jesus and his disciples were eating at
the last supper and was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one
of his disciples.  The Romans took him to be crucified and was stabbed in the
side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross.  He was buried
in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder.  Every year the
boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out, and if he sees his shadow
there will be six more weeks of winter."
______________________________
A man walks into a barbershop and (as one would expect) sits down and
the barber starts to cut his hair. The following dialogue takes place:
 
Barber - "where are you going for your holidays" 
Customer - "Rome"
Barber - "any reason for going to Rome"
Customer - "The wonderful architecture"
Barber - "yes"
Customer - "The delicious food"
Barber - "yes" (he was a pushy fellow)
Customer - "And if I'm really lucky I want to meet the Pope"
 
The Barber finishes the hair cut and the man leaves the barbers.
 
Two months pass by and the man requires another hair cut.
 
Barber - "weren't you in here about two months ago"
Customer - "yes"
Barber - "did you go to Rome"
Customer - "yes"
Barber - "what was it like"
Customer - " The architecture was magnificent"
Barber - "yes"
Customer - "The food was out of this world"
Barber - "yes"
Customer - "And the best thing happened on the last day I was in Rome"
Barber - "yes"
Customer - "I was standing in St Peters Square listening to the Popes'
            speech. Suddenly he disappeared from the balcony and appeared
            at the top of the steps. The crowd went quiet and he started
            to walk down the stairs. The crowd parted to let him through
            and suddenly he was facing me"
Barber (Now stopped cutting and listening intently) - "go on" 
Customer - "He held my head and then talked to me"
Barber (Now excited) - "What did he say"
Customer - "Who the hell cut your hair"