ODE TO ED WHO WAS FIRED
 
At my terminal I sat typing,
Trying hard to fight off napping.
When there came a slight, soft rapping,
Rapping on my office door,
Only that and nothing more.
 
Then I sat up, startled, freaking
Just to hear a voice a-speaking
"Your presence now I am a-seeking,
Seeking on the lobby floor,
Bring your badge and nothing more"
 
What is this I'm a-hearing?
Is it the news that I've been fearing?
Now my desk they'll soon be clearing,
Clearing posters off my door,
Varnished wood and nothing more.
 
I bolted upright, staggered, straining
From my head the blood a-draining
See the hurt and shock I'm feigning
Feigning hurt and loss galore
Pure BS and nothing more
 
Now the bloody axe is falling
Now the perpetrator stalling
"Personnel may soon be calling,
Call you to another chore"
I think, "Right pal, nevermore"
 
In my beach chair I'm a-napping
Now my consciousness is sapping
By the soothing steady lapping,
Lapping waves upon the shore
Just this beer, then one more...
______________________________
Jesus came down to the gates one day and found Peter welcoming fellow 
Christians to heaven.  Now, as this was Michael's shift He was  surprised 
to see Peter, and so he asked "Where's Michael?"
"I don't know, but I wish He would hurry up and get here," said Peter.
"Well, I'll take over and you go find Him.  I do like this job."
 
So Peter took off and left Jesus at the gate having a high old time greeting
all of his friends and brothers.
 
This went on for some time, and Jesus' attention was eventually fixed on a 
little old man back in the crowd who was jumping up and down craning his
neck as if he were looking for someone.
 
Jesus watched this for a while, and then, his curiosity piqued, he made his
way through the crowd until he reached the old man.  The old man was stooped
and white haired with hands that had the look of a lifetime's labor, but he 
had the face and eyes of someone who had always found joy in his life.  
 
"Hello there, You appear to be looking for someone.  Perhaps I can help.
I do know everybody here," said Jesus.
 
"Well, the truth of the matter is that I'm looking for my son," said the 
old gentleman.
 
 
"What is your name?"
 
"Joseph"
 
"What is your occupation?"
 
"I'm a carpenter."
 
"Hmm... Now, tell me about your son."
 
"Well, he has a hole in his right hand."
 
Jesus looks down at his right hand, then back at the old man.
"What else can you tell me about him?"
 
"He also has a hole in his left hand."
 
Jesus looks down at his left hand.  At this point, Jesus wants to REALLY
make sure.
"Does he have any OTHER distinguishing marks?"
 
"He has holes in each of his feet, too."
 
Jesus looks down at his feet.  He can't believe his eyes!  He looks at the
old man with teary eyes, stretches his arms out, and cries, "Dad!"
 
Well the old man straightened up in joy, and his face began to gleam.  And 
taking Jesus' shoulders in his hands he looked Him in the eye and cried, "Pinocchio!"

Jokes