Jesus is on the ferry across the dead sea when the ferryman 
says "It'll be 40 sestertii (Roman coin) for the crossing."
"Bugger that," says Jesus, "I'll walk."
______________________________
 
Mary and Joseph at the door to the inn:
"Do you have a room for the night?"
Innkeeper: "You've got to be joking - it's Christmas!"
______________________________

    There is this French couple, sitting up talking, when the wife says
to the husband that it was time he had a conversation with their thirteen
year old son about the birds and the bees.
 
    So the father goes to his son's room and says: "Son do you remember that
session I arranged for you with mademoiselle Ginette?"
 
    "Oh yes papa, I remember very well," says the son.
 
    "Well son, it is time you knew that the birds and the bees do the
    same thing."
______________________________
A Protestant moved into a completely Catholic community. Being good Catholics
they welcomed him to their community. But, also because they were good
Catholics they did not eat red meat on Fridays. So, when their neighbor,
receiving his paycheck on Fridays, began barbecuing some juicy stake, they
began to squirm.
 
  They were so annoyed that they went to talk to him about it. After much talk
they convinced him to become Catholic. The next Sunday he went to the priest
and the priest sprinkled holy water on him and said :
 
  You were born Protestant -
  You were raised Protestant -
  But now you are Catholic.
 
  And so, the next Friday, the neighbors sat down to eat fish and were
disturbed by the smell of roast beef from the neighboring house. They went
over to talk to the new Catholic because he new he was not supposed to eat
beef on Fridays.
When they saw him, he was sprinkling catchup on the beef saying :
 
  You were born a cow -
  You were raised a cow -
  But now you are fish.
	
Jokes