After eight years in college, there is one Ole Miss student who still 
can't seem to get himself graduated.  He got in five years on a 
football scholarship, and everyone likes him, but he just can't seem 
to make it through his classes.    
 
The professors and the board of regents at the school are beginning to 
be anxious about the possible damage to the school's reputation, and 
decide that graduate or not, Jethro has got to go.  They are worried 
that the general public is going to hear about this student hasn't
graduated after eight years.  After conferring with each other, they 
give him the news:  "Jethro, we've decided that this is going to be 
your last semester at Ole Miss.  So we're going to give you a test at 
graduation time.  We're going to ask you just one question, and if you 
answer it correctly, you graduate.  If you answer it incorrectly, you 
don't graduate.  But either way, this is your last semester and it's
time to leave the school."  
 
So graduation rolls around, and Jethro is the very last person to step
up, because he still has to take the test.  Everyone at school knows
about it and each person in the audience holds his breath as the
university president asks Jethro the Test Question.  "Jethro, what's 
four plus three?"  Jethro thinks hard for a moment, and then hesitantly 
answers, "Seven?"  There is a brief moment of silence, and then another 
Ole Miss student calls out from the audience:
 
"Aw, gee, give him another chance!"     
___________________________________
The Pianist
_____
 
A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie.  When it was
completed he asked when and where he could see the picture.  The producer
sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porno film and it was due out in a
month. A month later, the musician went to a porno theater to see it.  With
his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row, next to a
couple who also seemed to be in disguise.
 
The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M and
even a dog.  After a while, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and
said, "I'm only here  to listen to the music."
 
"Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog."

__________________________________
      There was this basically-good man who died and appeared before St
 Peter at the Holy Gates.  St. Peter checks out his books and discovers that
 there is a problem.  He says that there is no clear answer in the books on
 where the man is supposed to go, Heaven or Hell.  He suggests that the man
 go to Hell and check it out, so that he may make the decision himself.  If
 he didn't like what he saw there, he could come back to Heaven.
 
      Well, this man had only one true vice while he was alive. It seems he
 had an uncontrollable desire to play golf at any opportunity.  He had
 travelled the world playing all the famous golf courses.  
 
      When the man arrived in Hell, Satan welcomed him, but he too was
 surprised at the man's situation.  He had assumed that since the question
 about the man's ultimate destination wasn't clear, the man would go to
 Heaven.  The man could just see behind Satan a Most Beautiful Golf Course. 
 It had beautiful trees, blue ponds, water seperating the fairways,
 everything.  The man fell in love with at at first site, and he couldn't
 control himself.  He just had to play a round. The devil showed him a
 wonderful electric golf cart, a perfect leather bag, a matched set of
 clubs.  Satan reached into his pocket and presented the man with a Golden
 Tee.  The devil then said that only members could play.  The man couldn't
 control himself; he just had to play there.  
 
      He goes back up to Heaven and tells St. Peter that he has decided to
 stay in Hell so he could play on the beautiful Golf Course there.
 
      When the man returns to Hell, he approaches Satan and asks for a tee
 time.  The devil says that anytime at all, the man could play.  No one else
 uses the course.  Chuckling with glee, the man approaches the first tee. 
 He gets out of his beautiful golf cart, reaches for his perfectly matched
 clubs and selects his driver, reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out
 his Golden Tee, then frantically searches everywhere for a ball.  Satan
 comes up and the man asks him for a ball.
 
      "That's the Hell of it" says Satan.
__________________________________

For a while, I worked as a Cashier at a local drugstore.
Well, one afternoon, while I was working at the drug counter, a woman came in
and dropped off 3 prescriptions to be filled.  Later, she came back, and
wanted to pickup the presciptions (they were for her husband).  Two of the
prescriptions were ready, with the third stapled to the bag.  The pharmacist
had already told me about this one.
 
      "Here you go, we were only able to fill two of the prescriptions,"
      I said.
 
      "Why can't you fill the other one?", she said.
 
      "I'm sorry, we don't carry that one," I said.
 
      "Well, can you order it?"
 
      "No."
 
      "Well where can I get it filled?"
 
      "I'm afraid you will have to go to the hospital to get it filled."
 
      "Why?  What's it for?"
 
      "A chest X-ray."
Jokes