From a high school history teacher's stash of student goodies:
                    (all spellings sic)
 
  " The nineteenth century was a time of many great inventions and
thoughts. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of
rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormic invented the McCormic raper
which could do the work of 100 men. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure
for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ
of Species. Madman Curie discovered radium. And Karl Marx became one
of the Marx brothers."
 
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"Well, now, hold onta yer horses, there, Frazier.  I mean, as a psychiatrist,
isn't it your job to, uh, `seek and uphold the truth'?"
"Oh, get real, Cliff."
   _ Cheers
 
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A witty saying proves nothing.
   _ Voltaire
 
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 Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
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 Lunatic Asylum: The place where optimism most flourishes.
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 Old soldiers never die.  Young ones do.
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 The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy.
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 Hartley's First Law:
         You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to float
         on his back, you've got something.
Jokes