Did you hear about the new Norwegian parachute that opens on impact?
 
Did you hear about the Norwegian rapist? They caught him and put him in 
a lineup. He pointed at the woman and shouted "That's her!"
 
What does it say on the bottom of Norwegian Coke bottles?
Open other end.
____________________________
Celibacy is not hereditary.
__________________________
How's your love life---still holding your own?
__________________________________________
Have you seen the new serial numbers they're putting on condoms? 
No? You must not be unravelling them far enough.
___________________________________________ 
You're so stupid, people have to tell you everything twice.
You're so stupid. people have to tell you everything twice.
____________________________
She's SO fat...
 
 ...she wears watches on both hands, and they're in different time zones
 ...when she shines a moon, the tides change.
 ...her high school yearbook picture was an aerial photo.
 ...the other day she was standing on the street corner and a police 
    cruiser pulled over and told her to "break it up." 
_________________________________

A peasant came to Moscow, and as he was crossing a bridge he saw a man
drowning.  He jumped in and saved the man, whereupon the man said to
him, "You can have anything you desire; just name it!"  The peasant
was surprised and said, "Who are you that you could make such an
offer?"  The man said that he was Joseph Stalin, whereupon the peasant
said to him, "In that case, just don't tell anyone I saved you."
Jokes