A Cuban named Rudolph was looking out his window one morning,
and announced to his wife "It's raining outside."
 
"That's not rain; it's sleet," she replied.
 
To which he rejoindered, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear." 
___________________________
On a police party, there are three types of police men: the normal police, the
military police and the secret police.
After some beers they decide to hold a contest. All forces have
to catch a rabbit as quickly as possible. All leave in search
for the little animal.
After about an hour, the normal police is back at the party with
a dead rabbit. They are the champions! Half an hour later the
military police men return as well, but three hours later they
are still waiting for the secret police men to show up.
The two forces start looking for the third one. After some searching they
found them in the forest at the bank of a small river. They were pushing a pig
under water and were shouting 'Admit that you are a rabbit!'
________________________

A Polock and an Italian are out hunting.  They come across a gorgeous woman
sunbathing nude on a lake.  The Italian says, "Boy, I could eat that!!!"
One asked her, "Are you game?"  "Yes", she replied.  So they shot her.
________________

   A worker was painting lines on a parking lot when a woman trod through his
fresh work.  The two exchanged words.  She spat in his face.  He painted her
yellow - face, clothes, the whole thing.  They charged him with assault.
 
 
 
   Two hunters snared a rabbit and decided to have some fun by attaching some
explosives to it.  The rabbit's last act was to dash underneath their brand
new truck.
 
 ___________________________________

 
  "Instead of getting married, just find a woman you hate and buy her a
house."
                                        Alex Bennett
________________________________

      An Italian, an Irishman and a Polock are having lunch on the
construction site.  The Italian pulls out his lunch and exclaims, "Man, if I
have prosciutto in my lunch once more, I'm tossing it in the river!"
     The Irishman took out to his sandwich and said, "I'm with you.  I'm so
sick of corned beef that if I get it in my lunch again tomorrow, I'm throwing
mine in the river, too!"
     The Polock took out his lunch and also exclaimed, "I can't stand having
kielbasa one more time.  If I end up with it for lunch tomorrow again, I'll
throw mine in the river,  too."
     Sure enough, the next day the Italian pulls out his lunch and it's
prosciutto.  He chucks it.
     The Irishman takes out his sandwich and it's corned beef.  He tosses it.
     The Polock tosses his, too.  "Stash," ask the other two, "Why did you
toss you lunch in the river without even opening it?"
     "Oh, I know it's kielbasa; I made it myself."
Jokes