From "How to Spot A Canadian" SPY Magazine (April? 1987)

1.  During a job interview, a Canadian will ask about the life
    insurance benefits before the starting salary.

2.  Canadians always wait for the "Walk" light at street corners.

3.  A Canadian sounds like he's from somewhere else but you
    can't really tell from where.
4) Canadians don't pronounce the "r" in "wash".
5) Canadians say "you're welcome" not "." in response to
   "thank you".
6) Canadians say "Sorry?" or "I beg your pardon?" when they can't
   hear you, not "?"
7) Canadians (except Pierre) post jokes to rec.humor, even though
   it's spelled wrong.
8) Canadians don't need a list like this; they know it instinctively.

Canada.  51 weeks of winter followed by a single hockeyless week
of summer.
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                     Alice In A Nutshell  

When she fell down that hole, Alice was really quite tall
But then she drank from a bottle, and grew quite small
The White Rabbit is running around in a panic, because he's late 
Holding his watch and mumbling, he's late for a very important date
The Mad Hatter says it's tea time, would you like some sweetbread?
The Queen of Hearts, in her regal voice, shouts off with her head
The guards are all giant playing cards, and the queen is very fat
And of course we must not forget, that silly grinning Cheshire Cat
And we can't overlook the brothers,Tweddledee and Tweedledum
Who couldn't agree on where they were going, or how they had come
Well that's the story in a nutshell, and I hope you don't take offense
At the fact that I've played Reader's Digest, and this story condensed.
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Why did the aggie sniff sweet and low?
He thought it was diet coke.

Why don't they have ice cubes anymore at Texas A&M?
The guy with the recipe graduated.