From Pat Paulsen

"To get to the meat of the matter, I will come right to the point, and
take note of the fact that the heart of the issue in the final
analysis escapes me."

"I think all right-thinking people in this country are sick and tired
of being told that ordinary decent people are fed up in this country 
of being sick and tired.  I'm certainly not, and I'm sick and tired 
of being told that I am."

__________________________

From Rich Rosen

Anything's possible, but only a few things actually happen.

Life is complex.  It has real and imaginary parts.

"to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best night and day
 to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human
 being can fight and never stop fighting."  - e. e. cummings

Popular consensus says that reality is based on popular consensus.

______________________________________

From Steven Wright:

"I have a map of the United States that's actual size."

"I was born by Ceasarian Section ... but not so you'd notice. It's just 
that when I leave a house, I go out through the window."

"A friend of mine sent me a postcard with a satellite photo of the entire 
planet on it, and on the back he wrote, "Wish you were here."

"One night I stayed up playing poker with a tarot deck. I got a full house 
and four people died."

"I spilled Spot remover on my dog.  Now he's gone."

"I bought some powdered water....but I didn't know what to add."

"After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?"

"You can't have everything ... where would you put it?"

"My grandfather invented Cliff's Notes. It all started back in 1912 ... 
well, to make a long story short ... "


__________________________

Seen on a foreign car...

+___________________________+
|       Recalls reduce traffic.  Buy American.         |
+___________________________+

__________________________

From the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle, September 6, 1988...

COMPLAINT TO 911 LEADS TO ARREST

A Fairport man apparently was upset when sheriff's deputies ripped out a
home-grown marijuana crop, so he called 911 to lodge a complaint.
Instead, he was arrested.
Robert C. Saurini, 43, was charged with first-degree criminal possesion of
marijuana Friday a few days after the call, said sheriff's Sgt. Joseph
Marhatta
of the Penfield substation.
Acting on a tip, two deputies went to Saurini's home on Aug. 31, and harvested
about 80 pounds of pot from the yard, Marhatta said.
That evening, someone identifying himself as Saurini called the emergency
communications center. The caller said he wanted to complain to a supervisor
that deputies had taken his marijuana and wanted to get it back, Marhatta
said.
A sheriff's supervisor called Saurini and asked him to come in the next day,
but he didn't. Police arrested Saurini on Friday on Lexington Avenue in
Rochester, and he was released on bail.
 
__________________________

A doctor, a lawyer and a mathematician were discussing the relative merits
of having a spouse or a lover.

The lawyer says: "For sure a lover is better. If you have a spouse and
want a divorce, it causes all sorts of legal problems.

The doctor says: "It's better to have a spouse because the sense of security
lowers your stress and is good for your health.

The mathematician says: " You're both wrong. It's best to have both so that
when the spouse thinks you're with the lover and the lover thinks you're
with your spouse _- you can do some mathematics.
Jokes