One Saturday, a farmer was preparing to head off to the Farmer's Market to
sell off his produce.  On his truck, one of his wheels was a bit loose, but he
figured it would get him to the market, at least.

He loaded up the truck, and drove on his way.  He reached a particularly nasty
curve in the highway.  Just as he starts to make the turn, the wheel fell off,
and the truck veered off the road into a ditch.  His crop spilled all over the
side of the road.

Ten minutes later, a state trooper arrives at the scene.  As he exits his
cruiser, ready to help clean up the mess, he sees the farmer sitting at the
side of the road, his head in his hands, and singing to himself:

     "You picked a fine time to leave me Loose Wheel."
     (to the tune of Kenny Rogers)

__________________________

 This reminds me of the guy who stole the entire cobblestone street in
 Philadelphia in the middle of the day.

Sounds like a case of highway robbery to me!

__________________________

Eyedentify:   To recognize by sight.
Luniversity:  A college for crazy people
Onederful:    What he or she is when he or she is the one and only
Sewercide:    Doing away with oneself by jumping into a manhole.
Tremendous:   A giant redwood tree

__________________________

A major, with wonderful force,
Called out in Hyde Park for a horse.
  All the flowers looked round,
  But no horse could be found;
So he just rhododendron, of course.

The Sultan was peeved with his harem,
And cooked up a scheme for to scare'em.
  He caught a big mouse
  Which he loosed in the house.
(Such confusion is called harem-scarem).

By the sewer I lived,
By the sewer I died;
They said it was murder,
But it was sewercide.

__________________________

"Say, Pooh, why aren't YOU busy?" I said.
"Because it's a nice day," said Pooh.
"Yes, but_-"
"Why ruin it?" he said.

__________________________

Dole (to Bush): Stop lying about my record
Bush (to Dole): Stop telling the truth about my record!


Did you hear about a movie starring Swaggart, Baker and Hart? It's called
"Children of a looser God"!