Q:    Why did the whale cross the ocean?

A:    To get to the other tide.
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     An engineer wakes up in the middle of the night because he smells smoke. 
He runs downstairs and sees that the living room is on fire, so runs outside
and grabs a garden hose, turns on the tap and sprays the living room.  The
fire is out, so he goes back to bed.

     A physicist in the same situatuion runs back upstairs and lights a match.
He holds the match under a tap in the bathroom, scribbles some quick
calculations down, fills a waste basket 2/3 full, and dumps it on the fire. 
All the water is converted to steam, so fire and water damage are minimized.

     A mathematician sees the fire and does the
match trick, says "A solution exists!" and goes back to bed.
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  This guy turns up at a fancy dress party wearing a green suit and
  has a woman clinging to his back.  Well, you can imagine the 
  looks he got from the other guests, so the host decides to find
  out what the guy has come as.
  "well" says the green suited man, " I have come as a Teenage Mutant
  Ninja Turtle"
  "yes, well I suppose the green suit leads me to believe that" exclaims
  the host " but what about the woman clinging to your back?"
  "oh, that's  mi-shell "     
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Question: How many PCP's (Politically Correct People) does it take
          to screw in a light bulb?

Answer: A.  2 (One to put the light bulb in, and the other to make sure
            it's done in a racially sensitive and non-gender specific way!)

        B. None until they change the name from "white" light to
           "multi-colored" light. They don't want to offend any of the other
           colors in the spectrum.
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