Ah yes, the famous quotes of Mayor Daley.  Defending the famous
police riot at the Democratic convention, "The police aren't there
to create disorder.  The police are there to preserve disorder."
 

Explaining the reason for this riot, he said that the demonstrators
"threw a bag that begins in s and ends in t."  During one of his
own campaigns someone suggested that his opponent was mounting a
strong tv campaign.  "Next time you want a favor, ask your television
set!
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Eight women are in a room. Just one of them is pregnant, and she is
eight months into her pregnancy. Statistical analysis: on the average,
each woman is one month pregnant.
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A recent survey indicated that 54 of the population is interested
in statistics.

Another survey proved that 51 of the population are in the majority.
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A statistician is defined as someone who, with his feet in a bucket of
ice water and his head in a steam cabinet, will say "On average, I feel
fine!"
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Paraphrased from local radio disk jockey:
 

 
In a recent news conference, President Bush was asked how long he thought
the Middle East crisis would last.  Bush replied, "As long as you remember
the economic crisis."
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Yesterday, in a county in south Georgia (USA), a young
state trooper went to the local magistrate and requested
a warrant to arrest someone. The magistrate, doing his
job, determined there was insufficient evidence and
refused to issue the warrant.
 

The trooper arrested the magistrate for "obstruction
of justice".
 

Upon arrival at the county jail, the sheriff quickly
determined what had happened, and refused to lock up the
magistrate.
 

The best part was the state patrol post's leader's
response, in a radio interview. "We believe this was
just a minor misunderstanding. We have spoken with the
trooper, and it won't happen again."