In a zoo, a woman sees one of the zookeepers trying to push a Camel into
an enclosure. The camel refuses to move one inch. The woman
says to the (male) zookeeper, "Here, let me help." With that, she goes
behind the camel for a few seconds. Suddenly with a shriek, the camel
gallops away into the distance.
The zoo keeper says, "What did you do?". The woman says, "I tickled his
testicles". The zoo keeper says, "Well, tickle mine, I've got to catch
the bugger now!"
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It's christmas time, and the postman rings at the door for an urgent letter.
She opens the door, asking for his request. Taking the letter, she said:
"Come in, postman.  I'll give you coffee and a good breakfast".
So he came in, took the meal. When he was ready, she said:
"Come on, let's go to bed now."  The postman was excited, went with her to 
bed, and they had fun together. Afterwards, the woman gave him a dollar-note.
So he said:" What the hell is the reason, you made breakfast for me, went to
bed with me, and know giving me a dollar? I suppose the rest was enough!"
And she answered: "It is X-mas, and I asked my husband, what shall we give
the mailman. And he said 'FUCK HIM, GIVE M A DOLLAR!'
But the breakfast was my idea...."
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There are some men who understand women. Unfortunately, they all spend
their time in rooms with soft walls, talking to beings from Beta Lyrae. 
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Never give advice to people - they won't take it and will then blame you
because it didn't work!
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     A sailor walks into a bar with a wooden leg, hook hand and an eye
patch over his eye.  He and the barman starts to talk:
Barman: "What happened to you?"
Sailor: "Well, a whale bit off my leg, I was in a sword fight and lost my
hand,      and then a bird sh*t in my eyes"
Barman: "You don't lose you eye even if a bird sh*ts in it!"
Sailor: "It's easy when you have had the hook for only one week!!!!"
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One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his
wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm.  The wife turns 
over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a Gyn. appointment tomorrow."
The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. Later, he rolls 
back over and taps his wife again.  This time he whispers in her ear
"Do you have a Dentist appointment tomorrow too?".

Jokes