A leading defense analyst claims to have discovered the reasoning
behind current US foreign policy.
     He says that the US were late for the last two world wars and
want to make up for it by being *really* *punctual* this time.
______________________________
An American tourist in a taxi stopped at a
pedestrian crossing controlled by traffic lights:
 
     _ Say driver, what's that beeping noise?
     _ Oh, that's to tell blind people that the lights have changed.
     _ (pause).  Gee, in my country we don't let blind people drive!
______________________________
The following is a promotional spot heard on a college radio station:
"Hello, this is God.  Whenever I'm in Pittsburgh_which is all the time,
since I'm omnipresent_I listen to all the radio stations at once,
including WRCT."
______________________________
Teamwork
========
 
There are four people named
Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.
 
There was an important job to be done and
Everybody was asked to do it.
 
Everybody was sure Somebody would do it
Anybody could have done it, but
Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about that, because it
was Everybody's job.
Everybody thought Anybody could do it but
Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.
 
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody
when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.
 
______________________________
 An old Jew and a young Jew are travelling on the train.  The young
 Jew asks: "Excuse me, what time is it?" The old Jew does not
 answer.  "Excuse me, sir, what time is it?" The old Jew keeps
 silent.  "Sir, I'm asking you what time is it.  Why don't you
 answer?!" The old Jew says: "Son, the next stop is the last on
 this route.  I don't know you, so you must be a stranger.  If I
 answer you now, I'll have to invite you to my home.  You're hand-
 some, and I have a beautiful daughter.  You will both fall in love
 and you will want to get married.  Tell me, why would I need a
 son-in-law who can't even afford a watch?"

 
 

Jokes