Q:  What did the Iraqi people light their houses with before they
    used candles?
A:  Electricity.
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A man walks into a cake shop, goes up to the counter and asks for a doughnut.
The assistant picks up a pair of silver tongs, retrieves a doughnut and 
places it on a dish. 
 
The customer says to the assistant "That's very hygienic using a pair of tongs
to pick up the cake!"
"Oh yes sir. This is a very clean shop."
"Well in that case I think I'll also have a chocolate eclair too."
 
So the assistant picks up the silver tongs and retrieves a chocolate eclair.
While he's doing this the customer looks down and notices a piece of
string sticking out the trouser fly of the assistant.
"What's the string for?" asks the customer.
 
"Well sir, it's such a hygienic shop that if I want to go to the toilet
I must pull out my willy with the string. That way I don't touch it with
my hands."
The customer thought for a moment and said "Well how do you put it back
in then?"
 
"Oh that's easy," said the assistant "I use the tongs, silly!"
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Bumper sticker seen on Stealth bomber:
"IF YOU CAN READ THIS, THEN WE WASTED 50 BILLION BUCKS."

Jokes