The meek will inherit the earth--if that's OK with you.
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Amazing, self powered:
Check out Prime's recent ads for graphics work stations in the IEEE journals.
The ad shows a PRIME color graphics work station with a beautiful display
on its screen. Unfortunately, the power switch, visible in the lower right
corner of the machine is clearly in the "Off" position.
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Here are some funny(?) phrases and constructions that someone's wife brought
home from her class. (She is a high school English teacher.)  These actually
appeared in her students' homework and exams.  The poster thought that they
were funny enough to be included in rec.humor. 
 
I loved her so much that I put her on a pedal stool.
 
When I grow up I want to be a whorse trainer.
 
She left him because he took her for granite.
 
In the Middle Ages Europe was swept by the Blue Bonnet plague.
 
When you have finished the final step, Walla! you're ready to bake your cake.
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A man who couldn't get it up, consulted with a doctor on the matter.  The
doctor said, "We have developed a certain type of shut that allows you to
control when it gets up and when it goes down.  There is, however, a side
effect, each shut works exactly three times."
 
The man agreed to have the shut.  The Doctor then said, "Every time you
want to get it up, blow a whistle.  When you are done, blow another one
and it goes down again."  The man quite happy with the prospects of what
was to come, got into his car and headed home.  After driving for a while,
he decided to try it once and see how it works.  He blew a whistle and to
his surprise it came right up.  He blew another one and it went back down.
 
Further down the road, he came upon a malfunctioning traffic light and saw
a policeman directing the traffic.  The officer blew a whistle to stop the
traffic, and sure enough it came up.  A little while later he blew another
one for the traffic to resume, and it went right back down.
 
The man thought to himself, "I still have one more chance left!" so he took
a lot of back roads and finally made it home.  He ran to the bedroom, dropped
his pants, blew a whistle, and called his wife.  Upon entering the room and
seeing the unexpected, the wife put her lips together and said, "Whooooooot,
Whooooooot!"
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     A pal of mine was called the optometrist, because 
 
     All he needed was two glasses to make a spectacle of himself......
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There was a guy traveling down the highway, when he saw a car pulled to
the side of the road, with the hood up, and there was a nun looking in at
the engine.
He pulled over and asked the nun, "Do you need a ride into town?"
The nun said yes.
As they are traveling into town, the man said to the nun, "I don't know
how you can go without sex your whole life!"
The nun replied, "We can, but there is three stipulations."
1.  You can't be married
2.  You can't have kids
3.  You have to do it up the ass
The guy thought about it and decided he could handle that, he wasn't married
nor did he have kids.
They go to a motel, do it, and he is taking the nun back to the car.
"Man, I am feeling really guilty," he said. "I am married and have two kids."
And the nun said, "That's O.K., my name is Andy and I am going to a costume
party."

Jokes