________________________________________________________________________
What do you call a Yugo with a flat tyre ?
A write-off.
______________________________
Man walks into a service station and asks the mechanic:
"Do you have a windscreen wiper for a Yugo?"
The mechanic scratches his head, thinks for a bit and replies:
"Well, it seems to be a reasonable swap - yes I do."
______________________________
What do you call a Yugo with twin exhausts ?
A wheelbarrow.
______________________________
The discussion on the origin of the word fuck brought to mind a poem I
haven't thought of in over twenty years - so I had to look it up.
I think it makes a pretty funny story, even if it is true:
In January of 1674, the Earl of Rochester was, as usual, drunk
at the English court. King Charles II asked him for his latest
poem, and Rochester, in his drunken fog, mistakenly gave him the
wrong piece of paper, which led to his immediate exile! The paper
contained the following poem, obviously not intended for the King's
eyes:
"I' th' isle of Britain, long since famous grown
For breeding the best cunts in Christendom,
There reigns, and oh! long may he reign and thrive,
The easiest King and best-bred man alive.
Him no ambition moves to get renown
Like the French fool, that wanders up and down
Starving his people, hazarding his crown.
Peace is his aim, his gentleness is such,
And love he loves, for he loves fucking much.
"Nor are his high desires above his strength:
His scepter and his prick are of a length;
And she may sway the one who plays with th' other,
And make him little wiser than his brother.
Poor prince! thy prick, like thy buffoons at Court,
Will govern thee because it makes thee sport.
'Tis sure the sauciest prick that e'er did swive,
The proudest, peremptoriest prick alive.
Though safety, law, religion, life lay on 't,
'Twould break through all to make its way to cunt.
Restless he rolls about from whore to whore,
A merry monarch, scandalous and poor. . ."
(There's more, but I leave it to the ambitious reader to hunt it up.)
(The French Fool is the ambitious Louis XIV. The King's brother is
James, Duke of York, whom New York is named after. Rochester, and most
everybody else, thought him a fool. History tends to agree with him.)
Rochester also has a poem about James' wife, called "Signior Dildo.")
Rochester also came up with the following short poem, supposedly
improvised on the spot:
God bless our good and gracious King,
Whose promise none relies on;
Who never said a foolish thing,
Nor ever did a wise one.
Jokes