Two IRA volunteers are waiting in ambush for an English army patrol
that is due to pass at midday. It doesn't arrive at 12, or at 1 and by
2 Seamas is getting worried. "God Sean" says he, "they're awful late.
I hope nothing's happened to them!"
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     Computer Stories from a Field Service Engineer
        ______________________
 
When I worked for a company that had a contract with 3M, 3M had asked me
to write them a memo describing why we were having problems with diskette
failures.  I said in the memo that the disks were failing due to head
crashes.  "If the customers would just clean their heads periodically, we
wouldn't have these problems," I said in the memo.  One customer responded
with "What kind of shampoo do you recommend?"
_______________________________________
An end-user hotline received a call about a bad software disk.  They asked
the customer to make a copy of the disk and mail it in to the hotline.
A few days later, they received a letter with a mimeographed copy of
the disk.  Since it was a double-sided disk, both sides of the disk
had been xeroxed.

_______________________________________
I work for University Computing Services answering questions about any and all
aspects of computing here, and as a result I run into some truly astonishing
mental densities...  A few excerpts from the Help desk:
Caller: "What's the name for when you're entering data into the computer?"
    HD: "Data Entry."
Caller: "Thank you!"
______________________________________
Overheard in a student computer lab:
Client (raising hand and waving frantically): "The computer says 'Enter your
name and press RETURN.'  What do I do??"
Lab Assistant: "Enter your name and press RETURN."
Client (as if a revelation has struck): "Oh!"
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Pity poor Dracula; all he wanted was a little bite,
but instead they gave him a big stake!
__________________________________
     What were the greatest banking transactions mentioned in the Bible?
 
     1) When Pharaoh's daughter went into the bulrushes and came out with
        a little prophet
     
     2) When Moses led the Children of Israel to the Banks of the Jordan
 
__________________________
 
A few history books tell of Helen of Spud.
 
She had, of course, a face that launched a thousand chips...
Jokes