A buxom blonde wore, at a charity ball, an enormous diamond. "It
happens to be the third most famous diamond in the whole world,"
she boasted. "The first is the Hope Diamond, then comes the 
Kohinoor, and then comes this one, which is called Lipshitz."
 
"What a diamond!"
 
"How lucky you are!"
 
"Wait, wait, nothing in life is all mazel ", said the diamonded
lady, "Unfortunately, with this famous Lipshitz diamond you must
take the famous Lipshitz curse!"
 
The ladies buzzed and asked, "And what's the Lipshitz curse?"
 
"Lipshitz," sighed the lady.

__________________________

     A rabbit was out hopping one day when he came across a bottle.  Nudged
it a bit and the cork fell off.  A geni floated out.  "You get one wish for
opening the bottle"  (A cheap geni, must have been cutbacks that year.)  The
rabbit thought a bit and said "I've always enjoyed music."  (A cultured
rabbit.) 
"Could you make be a piano for a symphony?"
     So this become a case of "Hare today, grand tomorrow."
 

____________________________
A lady about seven months pregnant got on a street car and sat down
She noticed the man opposite her smiling, and so feeling humiliated,
she changed her seat.  This time his smile changed to a grin.  So she
changed her seat again.  Immediately, the man starts laughing.  So
again, she changed her seat.  This time the man loses all control and
starts rolling on the floor.  Feeling highly insulted, the woman complained
to the conductor who had the man arrested.
 
The case came up in court and the judge asked the man if he had anything
to say, whereupon he replied, "You see, your honor, it was this way.
When the lady go on the car, I couldn't notice her condition, which in itself
didn't amuse me a bit, but when she sat down under the sign that read 
"The Gold Dust Twins Are Coming", I had to smile.  Then when she moved
and sat under a sigh that read "Sloan's Liniment Will Reduce That Swelling",
I had to grin.  Then she got up and sat under a sign that read "William
Stick Did It", that was the limit and I burst out laughing.  The she moved
and sat under a sign that read "Goodyear Rubber Could Have Prevented
This Accident", And I lost control of myself.
 
                                    CASE DISMISSED!!!
Jokes