A geneticist after struggling for 10 years, makes a personal
      accomplishment one day and goes to bar to commemorate it that
      night.  He finds himself a quiet corner and orders for a Triple
      Martini.  Meanwhile a gorgeous woman aged about 30 enters the Bar
      and not finding a table for herself asks the scientist if she
      could share the quiet table.  
 
      The two begin to converse after mutual introductions.
 
Jones:      "Mr. Smith, what brought you to this place tonight?"
 
Smith:       "Well!  After researching for nearly ten years I have
accomplished  something personal and I am here tonight to enjoy it. 
        And why are YOU here Ms. Jones?"
 
Jones:       "I too have a personal accomplishment and I am here to enjoy it
too."
 
Smith:       "What a Coincidence!!!"
       "Ms. Jones! May I know what your accomplishment is?"
 
Jones:       "Sure.  I have been married for about ten years now and I could
not have children.  But today my doctor told me that I am pregnant."
       "And what distinguishes your work from others, Mr. Smith?"
 
Smith:       "I had this rare species of female bird with me and its male
        counterpart is found nowhere.  In my attempt to save the species
        after trying to CROSS it with different species of male birds for 
        TEN YEARS, today I was successful in doing it."
 
Jones:       "WHAT A COINCIDENCE!!!"
______________________________
Two salesmen were traveling in the country when their car breaks down.
The only house around for miles was a large mansion.  They knock on the
door and a beautiful widow answers the door.  Since it is early evening and
the garage will not be opened until morning, she offers to let them spend 
the night in the guest bedrooms.
 
In the morning they call the tow truck and leave.
 
About three months later salesman number one opens a letter and can't believe
what he reads.  He goes to salesman number two and says:
 
"When we spend the night at the widow's mansion, did you sneak away into her
bedroom in the middle of the night?"
 
"Why, yes I did."
 
"And did you use my name?"
 
"Why, yes how did you know?"
 
"Well, it seems she died and left me her 5 million dollar estate!"
______________________________
    A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond off the
  beaten track when out of the bush's jumped the Game Warden !!
 
    Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running
  through the woods like a bat out of hell, and hot on his heels came
  the Game Warden...
 
    After about a half mile the fella stopped and stooped over with his
  hands on his thigh's to catch his breath and the Game Warden finally
  caught up to him...
 
    "Lets see yer fishin license, Boy !!" the Warden gasped..
 
    With that, the fella pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden
  a valid fishing license..
 
    " Well, son ", said the Game Warden, " You must be about as dumb as
  a box of rocks !!  You don't have to run from me if you have a valid
  license !!"
 
    " Yes Sir", replied the young feller, " But my friend back there,
  well, he don't have one"...
______________________________
A father had two little sons, one of whom was an eternal optimist, while
the other was a perpetual pessimist.  One Christmas he decided try to
temper both of their proclivities: in addition to their standard gifts,
he told them they'd each get something "chosen especially for you!"
His plan was to give the pessimist every toy and game he could possibly
desire, while the optimist would be directed to the basement filled with
manure.
 
On Christmas, after the normal presents were opened, the father sent the
optimist to the cellar, while leading the pessimist to the room filled
with presents.  After the pessimist opened all the gifts, he turned to
his father with a sad face and said:  "How can I possibly use all these?
The TV will wear out, the Nintendo will get smashed, and all the other
toys will be broken!"  After a few minutes of listening to such woe, the
father remembered his optimistic son, and ran to the basement steps.
 
There in the basement was his other son, swimming through the manure
with a gleeful smile.  The father asked him why he was so happy, to
which the boy exclaimed "With this much manure, there must be a pony in
here somewhere!"
Jokes