At a political rally, the candidate was trying to make a
stirring speech, but was constantly being interrupted by a noisy
heckler in the audience. "Tell them all you know!" cried the
heckler. "It won't take very long."
The politician glared back and proclaimed : "I'll tell them all
we BOTH know and it won't take any longer."
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A famous comedian was once sent to entertain the Prime Minister
at a dinner party at No. 10 Downing Street.  After he had been
introduced to the politicians, the comedian said to the Prime
Minister: "I would like to tell you all the latest jokes, sir."
"No need, no need," sighed the Prime Minister.  "I have already
appointed them in my Cabinet."
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Two Irishmen entered a pub in London and finding a table empty,
started to play a game of snooker.  After half an hour, neither
of them had scored a point.  One of them whispered to the other:
"I know - let's cheat."
"Cheat?  How do you mean?"
"Well, let's take away the wooden triangle."
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Two monsters met on a dark, evil night in the wilds of
Transylvania.  Having nothing in particular to do, one of them
suggested to the other :
"Like a game of "VAMPIRES"?"
"How do you play that?" said the other.
"Oh, for very high stakes."
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An army instructor in the Parachute Corps was showing a group
of new recruits how to use their parachutes.
One young soldier asked : "But sir - what if the parachute
doesn't open?"
The instructor smiled : "That, my boy, is what is known as jumping to a 
conclusion."
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POLICEMAN : "I'm afraid that I'm going to have to lock you up
             for the night."
MAN       : "What's the charge?"
POLICEMAN : "Oh, there's no charge.  It's all part of the
             service.
						 
Jokes