A golfer and his wife are playing and he slices his tee shot over
behind a shed.  After examining the situation, he concludes that if
they open both the front and rear doors of the shed, he could play
his second shot through the shed.  He lines up and his wife goes to
open the doors.  As she is waiting, she wonders what is happening and
peeks around the door.  Unfortunately, just at that moment her husband
hits and his ball strikes her squarely in the head, killing her instantly.
 
The distraught husband avoids golf for a year, but 5 years later he is
remarried and happily playing golf again with his new wife.  Oddly
enough, he happens to slice on the same hole and lands in almost the
same spot.  His wife says, "Honey, if I open the front and back door
of that shed, I think you could play through."  He answers, "No, don't
do that.  The last time I tried that I took an 8 on this hole!"
______________________________
Did you hear about the Scot who gave up golf?
He lost his ball.
 
Did you hear about the Scot who took up golf?
He found it.
______________________________
There was a country club which didn't allow women on the golf
course.  Eventually, there was enough pressure that they decided to
allow women on the course during the week. 
 
The ladies were satisfied with this arrangement, formed a women's
club, and became active.  After about 6 months, the club board
received a letter from the women's club complaining about the men
urinating on the golf course.  Naturally, they just ignored the
matter.  After another 6 months, they received another letter
reminding them of the previous letter and demanding action.  After
due deliberation they sent the women a letter advising them that
they had been granted equal privileges!
______________________________
A guy comes to work speaking in a really hoarse voice.
His buddy asks him what happened to his voice.
 
He relates that he was playing golf, and sliced out of bounds into
a pasture.  However, he thought he could find his ball and went
to look for it.  He saw a woman looking for her ball, too.  As he
passed a cow, he noticed that there was a golf ball stock in the
back end of the cow.  He lifted up the cow's tail and called out,
"Hey lady, does this look like yours?"  That's when she hit him in
the throat with a 5 iron.
_____________________________
 
A man is staying at a Vegas hotel and goes to play golf on their
course.  Before he starts, he buys 3 golf balls for $5.  He has a very
pleasant round.
 
The next day he decides to play a different course and goes to the one
across the street.  He also requests 3 golf balls and finds out that
the price is $25!  He protests, "Where I played yesterday, they were
on the $5."  The pro shop attendant explains, "Well, over there they
get you by the room."