Scene:
   A small boy stands agasp on the stairway overlooking the living room.
A rather largish man in a big red suit with white fur and red and white
toque hunches over the fireplace, filling stockings with gifts, sees the
boy over his shoulder.  His eyebrows are raised, matter-of-factly.
 
Caption:
     "I'm sorry you've seen me, Billy.  Now I'll have to kill you."
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     One day at the Vatican, a papal aide rushes in to the Pope's office and
says, "Your Holiness!  Good news and bad news!"  The Pope replies, "What's
the good news?"  "Jesus Christ is on the phone."  "That's great news, what
can be so bad?"  "He's calling from Utah."
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"I had to cash in my CD early" said Tom disinterestedly.
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     One day in Norsegard, Thor, the god of thunder,
being bored with heavenly existence decided that a quick trip to earth would
help alleviate some of this boredom.  Travelling incognito, except for his 
trusty hammer, Thor came across a buxom blond (what else?) and suggested that
some mutual cohabitation of a degenerate degree would be helpful to both
parties concerned.  The blond, not saying anything, and impressed with the
size of Thor's hammer, nodded her agreement.  They cohabited for three days
and Thor returned home.
 
Upon his arrival, Odin grabbed Thor and reprimanded him:"No problem sleeping
with mortals, but you should go back and tell her your name."
Thor returned to earth, went up to the girl's house, knocked, and when she 
answered said:"I'm Thor."
 
To which the girl lisped in reply:"You're thore, I'm tho thore I can hardly
pee!"