My grandfather used to talk about how they are shipping the front
ends of horses to Washington, D.C. for final assembly.

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     "The researches of many commentators have already thrown much
      darkness on this subject, and it is probable that, if they
      continue, we shall soon know nothing at all about it."
                                                         _ Mark Twain
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A vasectomy is never having to say you're sorry
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It's certainly a good thing that nowadays already kindergartners are
warned against drugs, and that the school is promoted as a drug free
place. The other day, my daughter brought home a sticker saying
'Drug Free'. I told her how nice that was, and asked if she knew what
the sticker said. 'Free Drugs', she explained.
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The following is paraphrased from a recent
issue of Car and Driver:
 
      In Tennessee, Police responded to reports that a naked woman
      had been hit on the highway.  Actually, the woman, 24, was
      neither naked nor hurt except for a few bruises.  Apparently,
      she was a passenger in a car doing about 65 mph and had fallen
      out of the window while attempting to relieve herself.  It seems
      she had misjudged the force of the wind.  A lady in a different
      car witnessed the incident and claims to "have now seen it all."

Jokes