The door of the doctor's surgery burst open and a man rushed in.
He was in a great state of agitation.  "Doctor," he cried,
"you've got to help me.  I think I'm losing my mind - I can't
remember anything.  Not what happened a year ago, or even a day
ago.  I must be going crazy!"
"Hmmmmmm," said the doctor.  "Just when did you first become
aware of this problem?"
The man looked puzzled. "What problem, doctor?"
________________________________
LITTLE GIRL : Mummy, why are your hands always so soft?
MOTHER      : Because I always use wonderful new Snowbright
              Liquid for washing my dishes.
LITTLE GIRL : But why does it get your hands so soft?
MOTHER      : Because the money Snowbright Liquid pay me for
              this commercial enables me to buy an automatic
              dishwasher.
________________________________
From the deepest Africa comes the news that the Globglobs,
a tribe of cannibals, have come up with a brand-new food idea.
"We take a human hand," said a spokeswoman for the tribe,
"and chop it into small pieces.  Then we let this dry in the sun
for ten years.  After this time, we grind the pieces into powder
and place it in bottles and sell it.  All you have to do is add
milk to the powder.  We call it a hand-shake.
________________________________
At a refined cocktail party, the Hon. Cecil Flintcomb-Maltravers
was horrified when a guest took a deep draught of his drink and
then let out a terrifically loud belch which reverberated
through the room.
"You cad!" cried the Hon. Cecil.  "How dare you belch in front
of my wife!"
"Why?" said the guest, "Was it her turn?"