Cole's Law:
         Thinly sliced cabbage.
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 A conservative is one who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
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 Show respect for age.  Drink good Scotch for a change.
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 Frisbeetarianism: The belief that when you die, your soul goes up the
 on roof and gets stuck.
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 The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the
 stupidity of your action.
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 Bacchus: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for
 getting drunk.
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Winston Churchill: "I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats
look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."
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Harry Bender:
              "Imagine the appeals,
             Dissents and remandments,
              If lawyers had written
               The Ten Commandments"
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James Thurber: "I think that maybe if women and children
were in charge we would get somewhere."
 
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Johnny Hart's comic strip "B.C.": "If man evolved from the
ape, how come there are still apes around? Some of them were
given choices."
 
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Bill Watterson, cartoonist: "Sometimes I think the surest
sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe
is that none of it has tried to contact us."
Jokes