A Mississippi State student, a Southern Miss student, and a Harvard
student are driving through the desert when their car brakes down.  They pull
over, and after examining the engine, determine that there is only one thing
that they can do, and that is walk to the nearest town.  Since it might
take them a long time to find help, each of them takes something; the Southern
Miss student takes a bag, the Mississippi State student take a jug, and the
Harvard student takes one of the car doors.
 
  After walking awhile, the Southern Miss student asks the Mississippi State
student why he is carrying the jug.
 
  The Mississippi State student replies "I say, it contains water in case we
get thirsty."
 
  The Southern Miss student and the Harvard student agree that that is a
great idea, and the Mississippi State student was smart to think of that in
the desert, etc.
 
  After walking some more, the Mississippi State student turns to the Southern
Miss student and asks why he is carrying the bag.
 
  The Southern Miss student replies "This bag has some food in it in case we
get hungry."
 
  The Mississippi State student and the Harvard student agree that that is a
good idea, since it is likely that they will not get a meal for some time.
 
  After even a longer time, the Mississippi State student and the Southern
Miss student finally ask the Harvard student why he is carrying the car door.
 
  The Harvard student replies "That way I can roll down the window in case it
gets too hot."
__________________________
There was this man in a mental hospital, all day he would put his ear to the
wall and listen. The doctor would watch this guy do this day after day.
So the doctor finally decided to see what the guy was listening to, so
he put his ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing. So he turned
to the mental patient and said I don't hear anything. The mental patient
said yea, I know, it's been like that for months.
_________________________
This man knocked on the door and a lady answered. He asked her if she had
any food she could give him. This lady said well what's wrong with you,
you look strong and healthy enough to go out and get a job. But the man
said he couldn't, that no body would give him a job and all he had to eat
was this rock he had in his pocket. Well, this lady got curious about how
this man was going to eat a rock, so she decided to let him come in and
eat his rock. When the man came in he asked the lady if he could warm up 
his rock on her stove. He asked her for a frying pan. She gave him one.
Then he told her if I only had a little bit of cooking oil I could
cook my rock real good, so the lady real curious, gave him some cooking
oil. The lady watched the man stir his rock around. Then the man said to the
lady if I only had some onion It would make this rock taste so good.
 
So the lady gave him some onion. Then he said if I only had a tomato
it would really be good, this rock would just have the best taste.
So she gave him a tomato. The guy stirred his rock with the onion and tomato.
Then the guy told the lady if she would happen to have two eggs, that
the eggs would really do his rock good. So she gave him two eggs. He stirred
up all this in the frying pan. And when he was done, she gave him a plate
to put it on. She was now so curious about how this man was going to eat 
this rock and how the rock would get flavor from the other stuff. So she just
watched the guy. He sat down and started to eat. He ate all the food
around the rock and kept pushing the rock aside. Finally all that was 
left on his plate was the rock. The lady asked him if he was going to eat 
his rock. He told her he was already full so he decided to save his rock
for later.
Jokes