Texas once had forty-five million acres of public domain, much of which was granted to early settlers. Some of it was granted right back to the state, and sometimes with a note of explanation. One German settler wrote, "De rain, it is all vind and de vind, it is all sand." Another more eloquently wrote the land office, "Forty miles to water, twelve miles to wood, six inches to Hell. Gone to live with my wife's folks."

__________________________________________________________________________________ Slim walked into the local post office and noticed a new sign on the wall. Letter by letter he made it out: MAN WANTED FOR ROBBERY IN CALIFORNIA. "Gosh," he said, "if that job was only in TEXAS I'd take it."

________________________________________________________________________________ Old Uncle Joad up in East Texas had a coon dog of which he was mighty proud. The old man earned his living making coonskin caps to order. When he got an order for a size 7 1/4, he had a board just the right length which he put on the floor. His dog would walk around it, sniffing, then take off to the woods and come home with a coon just the right size. Uncle Joad had boards for every size. It was an efficient way to operate business. One day a neighbor saw him sitting on the porch looking mighty sad. He was oiling up his old gun, which he hadn't used in years. "What's the matter, Joad?" inquired his neighbor. "Whatcha oilin' your gun for? Whar's your dog?" "Well," said Joad, "guess I'm gonna have to do my own huntin' from now on. You know how that old dog used to bring in coons just the size of the boards I laid down on the floor? Well, somebody knocked the ironin' board down on the floor last week and we ain't seen that old dog since."

_________________________________________ Been so dry that we got catfish in the creek three years old that haven't learned to swim yet!

Jokes